Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Dutch suit brand brings "Blurred Lines" douchiness to retail

What does it take to sell a suit these days? Undressed women, of course!

Huffington Post's Alanna Vagianos quips, "While sex may sell, it's almost impossible to determine what SuitSupply is even attempting to sell here."

I won't go so far as that. Suit Supply, a Dutch retailer, is selling the "sizzle," which is that a well-dressed man is more attractive to — and sexually successful with — women. It's a facile view of masculinity embraced by many young men and the shitty media they consume. But it's hardly new or confusing. It's just intellectually demeaning to both the women and men portrayed.

Ironically, the "uncensored" version keeps the bikini bottoms on. The sexualization of this brand apparently has limits, and those limits involve genitalia.

But using topless women to accessorize douchey male models in suits is clearly just fine.

No, I'm not surprised by this. It's just one more example of brands cheapening sex and female sexuality to sell crap. What I'm really wondering is if the target audiences will ever get sick of being treated like idiots who think with their dorks.

Swiss animal rights group objects to bunny in a thong

There are very serious animal abuses going on in the world. This is not one of them.

This cheesy little ad, with the headline, "This year, Easter is full of surprises," appeared in Switzerland to promote a shopping mall. According to Tages Anzeiger, it has drawn the ire of a local animal welfare group, Der Tierschutz beider Basel (Animal Welfare Basel) also known as TBB.

Daniel Bader, Manager at TBB for fundraising and communications, told Tages, "We see the dignity of this rabbit clearly violated. This image promotes zoophilia, ranging from sexual attraction to the sexual abuse of animals."

Asked to provide his perspective on what constitutes oversexualization of animals in advertising, Herr Bader explained, "There are no clear rules or principles held in this area... At the end of the subjective perception of each individual counts."

Indeed. And someone, subjectively, got sexually excited by this poorly executed idea. It wasn't me. Was it you?

H/T Dangerous Minds

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Supermodel covers Blondie in her bikini

There's nothing new about a model singing in accented monotone — Nico was the patron saint of that.

But Nico had the magic of the '60s New York City art scene behind her, as well as the music of the Velvet Underground, Jackson Browne, and other great collaborators.

Gisele Bundchen, on the other hand, has Auto-Tune and a weak arrangement of the classic new wave/disco crossover hit by French DJ Bob Sinclair:

Oh yeah, and it's an ad for swimwear. In case you missed it.

According to Ace Showbiz, the ad was given a premiere showing on Good Morning America yesterday.

The only good thing about it is that H&M is donating all royalties from the song's iTunes sales to UNICEF. If anyone buys it.

You could also buy this instead, and donate directly to UNICEF here:

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Forget Double Downs and Dorito tacos... this is a pizza with a crust made of Kraft Dinner

Via lolriot
I guess there's nothing new under the sun. If this ad is from the '80s, which I'll assume from the font and layout, the Kraft beat KFC, Taco Bell, and even Epic Meal Time in the innovation of extreme junk food mashups.

This pizza with a Kraft Dinner (Mac & Cheese, for my American readers) crust is both intriguing and horrifying. Anyone up to test-kitchening it?

DDB puts more "ass" in "classical music"

The Belgian B Classic music festival let DDB do a number on a classic, Dvořák's Symphony No. 9 Allegro con fuoco, by having some young Japanese (correction: Korean) women dance provocatively throughout three minutes of it:

The YouTube description explains, "B-Classic presents The Classical Comeback: a new music video format that gives classical music the same recognition as pop and rock music by combining the timeless emotion of classical music with the visual talent of a contemporary director."

Talent... right, because viewers were as taken by the cinematography as they were with the music.

While using the sexualized aesthetic of a cheesy rap video to trick people into listening to a different genre of music is amusing in theory, the execution is just another chapter in our ongoing exploitation of women's sexuality to sell anything and everything.

Ironically, in this case, it probably won't sell any tickets unless the concerts feature exotic dancers beside the conductor.

Via Ads of The World